Archive for March, 2008
Posted on March 29, 2008 - by Abner
Get away
So much that I want to write now.
Will put it on hold for I shall be heading a little down south for the weekend.
Would love to submerge my head in the pool tomorrow morning… in search for some peace and quiet. Doubt it though for the place has quite a lot of bookings.
Posted on March 28, 2008 - by Abner
Yes, I am a little hippie at heart
John Lennon reached out to me this morning after bath.
When I find myself in times of trouble, mother Mary comes to me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
And in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be.
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.And when the broken hearted people living in the world agree,
there will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted there is still a chance that they will see,
there will be an answer. let it be.Let it be, let it be, …..
And when the night is cloudy, there is still a light, that shines on me,
shine until tomorrow, let it be.
I wake up to the sound of music, mother Mary comes to me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.Let it be, let it be, …..
and no, don’t worry, I won’t be joining Lennon anytime soon.
Posted on March 25, 2008 - by Abner
Bit Bit of Memories
Hoping to settle it once and for all and be cut clean from all the bullshit thats been fed to me for god knows how long.
Am sincerely touched by all the messages and offers that comes in nonstop. Sorry that I am reluctant to go into too much details as I am really hurt and I am the one who made myself into such a big fool. This is the truth and it’s wrenching out my heart. It seems my chest is weighed on by a huge boulder, the uneasiness and the difficulty in taking in air. Occasionally I use my mouth. My body is getting hotter as time passes. Am overclocking it but I tried taking herbal tea to counter it and prolong the effect. My eyes are tired, arms and legs jittery and body need resting but my fucking brain is hyper. It’s delivering me assumptions and possibilities. Pieces of puzzles fitting here and there.
Yesterday night seemed to inch by. I could not get a single wink. I have a phobia of sleeping in my own room. I can’t even nap. Many relates their experience and yeah as always, each are different. Mine for now is a total fucked up case. She has managed to screw me over and over. I managed to wander off in my housemate’s room from 430am to 6am. Initially decided to skip work, citing emergency as excuse but the haunting thought of being alone at home freaks me out. So I go to work.
I knew that she comes over because of Bit Bit and not with the intention to see me anymore. That is why I let her took him away last Sunday, 23rd March 2008. After 6 months plus of living with Bit Bit I have grown to love him. He is who I call out to when I reach home. He often replies with ngok ngok ngok and stretching himself, just before I open his pen. He would welcome me with his playfulness by circling around me, trying to get my attention. Bit Bit will hop on my bed and rest without a care on my legs. His funny display of arrogance. He would go on up to my pillow and walk to and fro above my head. Finally giving me a few sniffs. It was kind of annoying at times when you are unconsciously relaxed but now Bit Bit has gone out of my life just like that, when I can clearly remember him coming in a box and exploring every corner of my room when he was first brought over. At first, I did not approve of having a pet in my room but I can’t remember when, when I slowly warm up to the little fellow. He beckons when I call. He follows me downstairs and up. He chases after me. And his energy level peaks when it’s midnight. Pay him a little attention and he will be so happy and would just strut his stuff around the room. Climbing on top of bags and boxes. Squeezing through small gaps. Sometimes I could not find him around my room which sparked a rabbit hunt which I think makes the naughty fellow do his rabbit laugh. He likes to be in control, I guess. Once he went missing I scared shitless. But when I found him wandering up the street and manage to have him back in my arms… my heart just light up. The touch of his fine fur on my hands though he would be kicking and scratching for being manhandled. I always get scratches on my hands, used to.
Come last Sunday, he was forever taken out of my life. I sobbed pathetically, worse than a school girl at the thought of not being able to see him anymore. To rub him behind his ears down to his neck. He loves that. Bit Bit would go flat on all fours and slowly closes his eyes enjoying every moment, without fail. And the sick thing is I never got to say goodbye. Never held his little paw and wave it a little. Why had I not done so when I had a sickening feeling that something really bad was about to submerge me? How could I be so careless? Damn… tears are trickling down and my nose seems to be running all over the place, lucky for me I sit far away from the colleagues. Fuck…
Sorry Bit, I did not want to leave you without saying goodbye, it was never my intention. Please forgive me, boy. I missed you a lot that only god knows. Would love to see you scamper towards me but I know that is wishful thinking. And forgive me for the reluctance to ever really announce you as my rabbit because deep down inside I have this uncertainty that somehow or rather I would be forced to swallow back my claim on you. That fear camouflages itself in the deep dark corners of my gut awaiting to pounce any moment. And it had already done so. But I am a little relieved that I told you I love you before.
I leaned and stared at the little gap in between the box and the wall and the big plastic bag that you so had a habit of rummaging in. Now the silence echoed throughout the room… so loud that it’s scary. The image of you running around are only projected by my overworked brain. I reached out my hand for my imaginary Bit Bit.
Bit… boy… would love you always and promise me you will be good. Please understand that the time that you and me had is over but I will definitely cherish them. It’s not a choice of mine. And I pray for happy times ahead for you and that the fucker/fuckers who she falls for, will take good care of you and hopefully better than I did. That would be give me great peace of mind.
PS. Bit Bit please don’t forget me. Sorry. Bye bye. You will always be my rabbit. Cross my heart and hope to die.
Posted on March 25, 2008 - by Abner
Sigh.
That’s all I am doing most of the time since yesterday.
Amazingly I seek my solace through phone calls and meeting friends. Everyone has been so supportive even the guard at my housing entrance.
Thank you for all the support and concern. I will definitely pull through this ordeal but it will take time for this is a very very bad shit that was shoved in my face. I am in the office so I refrain from words or sentences that will move me to dwell further into the dark corner. I do not want to shed tears in the office. Pathetic as I am now, I truly am thankful for the open arms and ears that are so readily available for me. Yeah… some of you can just yell get over it and shit but if you know the details which I am not prepared to divulge upon for now or the future, I am not sure.
I am through with all the lies. Sorry but I think the couple of coming posts will be similar. I am still very much in need for tight long hugs. Yes I am a sissy. A disorientated sissy.
Posted on March 24, 2008 - by Abner
Floating is great
Yes that’s how I am feeling now. Empty and light.
Nothing seems to hold me down. Legs feels like jelly.
SlowCatchUpKuan seems like I am a little wee ahead of you in regards of my post. Can you guess where I am heading with this post?
I just want to thank for all the support my friends have been giving me. I have not spoken to my brothers about this. Hope they will understand my delay.
Even the words I type are coming off wrong. Have to keep deleting and pausing.
Incidentally the post I was about to make today is the rebirth of Matchbox 20 and their new single, These Hard Times from the album Exile on Mainstream. Enjoy.
Wish I was one of the balloon right now.
With due respect to all my friends, sorry if I was blunt or rude or uncooperative during this period. I leave you now with These Hard Times lyrics.
Morning falls like rain into the city life
There goes another night
Losing my breath in waves
Knowing that ever crash is bleading the hourglass
And taking the strife from all our lives
Everyone keeps talking
They promise you everything
But they don’t mean anything
We may loose our focus
There’s just too many words
We’re never meant to learn
And we don’t feel so alive
So goodbye, these days are gone
And we can’t keep holding on
When all we need is some relief
Through these hard times
Through these hard times
Move your hands in circles
Keeping me hypnotized
The power behind your eyes
Move around your bedroom cursing the naked sky
You should be here tonight
But you stay alone and cry
Say goodbye, these days are gone
And we can’t keep holding on
When all we need is some relief
Through these hard times
(whoa) There’s something missing
(Oh whoa) You’ll never feel it but you
(Oh whoa) You’re gonna feel it when it’s gone
When it’s gone
Say goodbye, these days are gone
And we can’t keep holding on
When all we need is some relief
Through these hard times
(hey) these Hard times
(oh no now) Hard times
Hard times
Say goodbye, these days are gone
Say goodbye, these days are gone
These days are gone
Posted on March 21, 2008 - by Abner
The Gunung Kutu Aftermath
Sorry people. No photo this time round as I forgot to bring my camera. Might be able to grab some from friends later. Before I went for it, I did a search on Gunung Kutu and was not able to view much pictures. Having been there myself yesterday, I fully understood why this was so.
Woke up at 5am in the morning and left the house at 530am. Had a smooth drive (obviously, duh) and dear managed to grab a hash brown and a cup of orange juice at McDonald’s drive-thru. Met up with the rest of them and off we went. My tummy was not feeling too well. At times during the hike, I thought that it would sneak out. Mind over matter. Suck it back in… umm umm umm
Here is my experience.
Gunung Kutu is in Kuala Kubu Baru, under the Selangor state. Quite a distance from KL or PJ. Passing through Rawang, and nearing the area, we saw a dam. It’s a very nice view. Period. Cut through some , I believe to be, modern Orang Asli settlements and did some stretching and relieving ourselves in the woods.
We started our journey excitedly as always crossing streams and hanging bridges. Once we waddled across a river, everyone got into their full hiking gear. I just put on a pair of clean socks and my RM7 rubber shoes. On hearing there were to be leeches, everyone perked up and allowed anxiety to seep in. Most of the girls freaked. Deep down inside, I was afraid too although having experienced a leech bite once, I now realize it was not painful… it only looks horrendous + extra horrible to others. I rolled up my pants showing half my calf and sprinkled generously an amount of salt inside and on my socks. Less than 10 minutes into the hike, dear spotted the first leech. Shrieked and ran, putting all the others on red alert. From now on, most were walking with heads down. My neck muscles are feeling the strain even as I am relating this. Many more leeches greeted us on dead leaves and dark damp paths… camouflaging and blending themselves pretty well. That left no time for us to be stationary and taking in the view, if there was any. They were everywhere. As we marched on, the sound of the river faded and sunlight were turned down low. Soon we were buffeted by tall trees and thick vegetation. Gunung Kutu proved to be a tough hike with it’s steep, wet and leeches infested trail, personally. Definitely a first and last for me.
After 3 hours into the arduous journey, my calves started burning, a sensation that receives me every time I take on long hikes. The slippery and steep track was the cause of it and dear has voiced out her resentment for the place after just an hour plus of the hike. Am glad that she persevered and battled on despite the harsh condition. She even surprised me during the later part of the hike back. We stopped and rest many a times and there was a few times we lost sight of the people in front of us. It did not felt good though. Luckily, there were markings and signs on trees to show that we were on the right path. Had a good 15mins rest at a big sheltered boulder, where the other hiking group, there were only 2 groups that day, comprising mostly of girls were already having their luncheon… McD breakfast and bananas.
It took another hour before we reached the peak. Where not much of a view welcomed us. Nothing compared to Bukit Tabur. Rested our tired feet and gobbled a sandwich and water. I was not taking off my socks yet as I do not want to face the reality of being a leech meal. A comrade had already gone down, he was a walking buffet for 8 leeches. The thing is he wore sandals. No where for him to sprinkle salt or place tobacco. A fellow hiker asked nonchalantly whether he was involved in an accident. I chortled with laughter. The sight was really awful. Blood were spurting all over. I swore that I could hear indistinct sloshing of blood against the ground every time he walked. And I bet that if his sandals were in lighter color, his blood would have soaked and dyed it bright crimson red. This instilled more fear in our group.
Left the peak at 2pm and the three of us just sped down the trail. Going down was so much faster but I tried to restrain from pounding on my knees too much as I could feel a tingle of pain building up in my right knee. Should get a restrainer thing strapped on soon. As it was wet, many of us slipped and fell a few times. Gf being the champion here. When we came to the first stream, this is where the adrenaline gets the final pump. I was still in a daze when dear shifted into high gear and left the both of us eating dust. She practically sprinted her way out of the jungle. Had a hard time catching up because I was trying to muffle my laugh and the sight of her fast hop-skip-run style just made it unbelievable. She made it clear that she rather slipped and fall and get cuts and bruises than to be made a meal by the leeches. Could not believe my eyes. Out of the jungle in 2 hours and spent more than 30minutes soaking in the cold refreshing mountain water. Found a leech on me. Grind it up and spat on his/hers remain. Took a bath later in the river and changed into some fresh clothes. This was when I realized I left my clean shorts at home and I already soaked my pants. It was kind of J and B to allow me to ride in their car with only my boxers on. It was awkward. Shit. B even took a few snapshots for remembrance.
This hike brought me over and under a lot of bamboos. Saw different type of mushrooms springing up at every nook and cranny that I managed to steal a look. Had the opportunity to man-handle a dozen plus blood-sucking parasitic hermaphrodites that were trying to inch up. Bees swirling and attaching themselves on my wet t-shirt, slurping up my sweat. A group of beautiful and different butterflies playing and dancing around. The mosquitoes there are not very smart though. Very slow in reaction and easily killed. The air-borne predators paled in comparison to the parasitic infantry unit. The place has really big boulders but it was certainly not a place where I would recommend my climbing friends to go to… as the journey up takes 3 long strenuous hours and the rocks are mostly smoothed out. No cracks to even climb. Negative. Anyway if they insist of trying, you can bet that I won’t be hauling my ass there again. Although no leech had a taste of dear but their failure of inflicting physical wound on her however greatly managed to further project a more sinister image in her, which will be etched in so deeply that I think she now has developed bdellophobia.
Posted on March 19, 2008 - by Abner
Off to Gunung Kutu and …
Tomorrow is a holiday so am planning to tag along for some hiking near Fraser’s Hill. Not much details has been acquired from my friend but saw some pictures when I googled for it. Kutu literally means “ticks”. Let’s hope the place itself is not infested with them. Planning to sleep early tonight as I have to gather at my friend’s place at 6am in the morning. A climbing buddy told me there is a large boulder in Gunung Kutu so I will be checking it out, in case they wanted to go over for some climbing project. Yeah…
Here is some ranting. You can choose to stop reading.
Oh and the list of cabinet ministers has been announced and it seems a long serving minister was left out of it. It’s time really.
And the market, especially those luxury stuffs are having some setbacks over the week it seems, right after the shocking election results. People in the custom made jewelery said that they have practically been swapping at flies ever since the election when a few days before the polling, a Datin actually came in making some RM160k purchase in cash. Normally one would swipe it with cards, but this particular Datin (her Datuk, suspected to be a candidate judging by her phone calls) chose to pay in huge amount of cash. The staffs hand stunk with the smell of Ringgit after counting and recounting the amount. Who would withdraw or stash such a huge amount of cash and go shopping with it? Fishy stuff. Maybe trying to get rid of some evidence? Who knows. Time to look for job guys.
It seems that people in the automotive industry are getting hit badly too, namely Mercedes, BMW… bla bla bla people. Ask any of them and the answer would be baddddddddddddd… Most of the shitheads might be hiding under their blankets too scared to go shopping for new wheels. There was one who came out and went home and died of heart attack, just three days after the election results. What a great escape for the pond scum. No respect even though he is six feet under now. Would love to see his ass hauled to prison or to be involved in court dramas. Damn.
Somehow I find it a little hard to believe and even funny to hear a statement stating that being a backbencher is what was desired all along and no intention in being included in the cabinet all along. It’s like force feeding the public dried cow dung. Sometimes they think that we really have shit for brains. Not this time.
Posted on March 18, 2008 - by Abner
Sweet Toothache
From Mr. Ginger to the George the Dead Clown… they are some art/food works from Eugene and Louise Bakery comprising of three Belgian individuals who are out to conquer the world with (in their own words), chocolate dreams, sugar-bomb tastings and the nostalgic love for some real home cooking. It was this that brought the three of them together in the first place anyway.
They have pretty cakes and cravings inducing chocolates. So not safe to view if you are on a strict diet. But the ones that caught my eyes are their marzipan treats. That’s where Mr. Ginger and friends comes in.
Marzipan : a confection of crushed almonds or almond paste, sugar, and egg whites that is often shaped into various forms
Shown together are some white chocolate butter cookie clouds. Has it got your heart rate up yet?
How could one possibly munch on them? It’s too kewl to be swallowed.
Link : Eugene & Louise Bakery
Posted on March 17, 2008 - by Abner
Booting Up the IT Crowd
Had a freakin’ good laugh before Sponkers laptop died on us. We were in Old Town when he decided to share with us an original UK series. Rarely watch UK series for the US and A’s tv series are far more popular here. So there we were… gf and me huddled together in front of the laptop sharing an ear piece each. Slowly we spiraled into the silly and wacky world of IT Crowd. The show pokes fun at IT department and the ones surrounding them. The first few minutes already had me chuckling.
Only managed to watch half of second episode of Season 1. Am looking forward to it, hopefully this coming week. *hahaha*
Ok, here’s a small part of the show from YouTube. Give it a try before you succumb to the power of British sitcom.
| The IT Crowd – Yesterday’s Jam |
The US and A people were suppose to come up with their own IT Crowd TV remake slated for 2008/2009.
Posted on March 14, 2008 - by Abner
Proud Owner of Soiled Undies
Who would have guessed it!
I would definitely like to get my hands on a pair and it will surely be off limits for would-be thieves. Hell, it may even be cordoned off as a hazardous area. What a noble idea. If I were supposed to be looking for something to steal, scavenging through poo stained undies would definitely be struck off my list. Mmm… I bet if the thief really got your precious stuff from the “Brief Safe” then he/she well deserved it for braving through and taking the risk. You can make it stink for real too with a few drops of “Doo Drops”.
The “Brief Safe” is an innovative diversion safe that can secure your cash, documents, and other small valuables from inquisitive eyes and thieving hands, both at home and when you’re traveling. Items can be hidden right under their noses with these specially-designed briefs which contain a fly-accessed 4″ x 10″ secret compartment with Velcro closure and “special markings” on the lower rear portion. Leave the “Brief Safe” in plain view in your laundry basket or washing machine at home, or in your suitcase in a hotel room – even the most hardened burglar or most curious snoop will “skid” to a screeching halt as soon as they see them. (Wouldn’t you?) Made in USA. One size. Color: white (and brown).
A word of advice though for those mama boys/girls who still have their parents doing laundry for them, you might get your dough, love letters, cigarettes, condoms, marijuana, porn, other hidden stash thrown into the washing machine without a second thought and followed by nagging. Worse still when your crime is discovered.
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